


Everything You Ever

by a1_kitkat



Category: Westlife
Genre: Drunken Confessions, M/M, Mark Loves Shane, Past Relationship(s), Regret, ShMark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-22
Updated: 2015-01-22
Packaged: 2018-03-08 15:12:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3213740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a1_kitkat/pseuds/a1_kitkat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mark collects a drunken Shane from a bar and takes him back to his place, Shane laments on past regrets</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everything You Ever

The brunette singer closed his eyes and sighed in frustration. All around him people were talking, laughing and having a good time. He wanted to feel happy for them but his heart wasn’t in it. He opened his eyes and cautiously looked around. Some faces were familiar, others not so much. His hometown was changing so much. He felt like the world was turning but leaving him behind.

Shane closed his eyes again as he drained the remainder of his beer. He raised his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose, willing the throbbing in his head to subside. His watch beeped but he ignored it, not caring what the time was. A moment later his phone began to ring. The singer reached into his pocket, retrieved the phone and checked the caller ID. He was suddenly overcome by a feeling of dread. Not knowing what else to do, he switched the phone off.

“Refill” Shane said, waving his empty glass towards the bartender.  
He settled back in his chair and let his eyes shift out of focus. Several minutes passed before he realized his refill hadn’t arrived. Shane blinked then sat up, looking around for the bartender.

“Shane?”  
The singer stopped his search and turned to see who had spoken his name.  
“Jack…?” Shane greeted him, his voice slightly slurred.  
“Jackson” the younger man corrected him. “I think you’ve had enough”  
“No”  
“We’re closing soon… Maybe you should head on home?”  
“No…” Shane argued before raising his index finger. “One more”  
“Okay, one more” he agreed after a moment’s hesitation. “Then we’re closing and you’re leaving”

Jackson stood up and walked away from the singer. He nodded for one of the staff to take another drink to Shane then he disappeared behind the bar. He picked up the phone and made a quick call.

*

By the time Shane’s drink arrived, he still wasn’t ready to head home so he sat nursing this one. He slumped forward in the chair and stared down at the foamy liquid.  
Jackson stood behind the bar, wiping down the counter and watching Shane with concern. He’d worked in this bar a long time and he knew when someone was running away or hiding from something. He tried to remember the last time he’d seen Shane in here alone but couldn’t. It was unusual for the brunette singer to be out this late and on his own.

The door opened and Jackson sighed with relief. He dropped the cloth he’d been using and hurried across the bar.

“I’m so glad you’re here” Jackson greeted the new arrival.  
“I came as soon as I could” he replied. “What’s going on?”  
“He’s been here for hours… Hasn’t spoken to anyone… All he’s done is drink”  
“Why?”  
“I’d hoped you would know… Can you make sure he gets home ok?”  
“You know I will”  
“Thanks Mark”

The brunette took a deep breath then slowly approached his friend. He didn’t speak at first; he simply walked up to Shane and slid into a seat beside him. The older boy didn’t even look up. He reached for his drink but stopped and dropped his hand on the table instead.

Mark watched Shane in silence, unsure of what to say. He saw his friend reach for his drink and give-up in the process. In that moment, Mark’s heart sank. Shane was in so much pain. That much was clear but Mark had no idea why or even how to fix it.

He slowly reached out and placed his hand on top of Shane’s. The older boy didn’t flinch away which Mark found encouraging. When his friend finally looked up and into his eyes, Mark saw tears brimming in Shane’s hazel eyes. Without a second thought, Mark moved over and wrapped his arms around Shane, holding him protectively. Shane closed his eyes and buried his face in Mark’s chest. The two singers sat, not moving or speaking, for a long time. Shane’s body trembled as he sobbed in his friends arms.

“It’s okay” Mark whispered, unsure of what else to say.

The older boy continued to sob, his hands clinging to Mark as though his life depended on it. Mark held Shane close, whispering soothing words to his friend all the while wishing he knew what was wrong.

“Lads?” Jackson’s voice interrupted them. “Uh, it’s closing time”  
Mark nodded as Shane reluctantly pulled away. He fumbled around in his jacket pockets searching for his wallet. Once he found it, he pulled out a pile of bills and dropped them on the table.  
“Thanks…“ Shane slurred. “For the… Drinks”

He stood up while searching his pockets for his keys and he stumbled. Mark was already on his feet and caught Shane before he fell.  
“Thanks Mark” Shane said, sounding slightly breathless. “Was looking for my keys…”  
“Oh no, you’re not driving home like this” Mark insisted.  
“Was going to lock the car… Then walk”  
Mark smiled and shook his head. “I’ll drive you”  
“NO… I… I’ll walk”

Shane pulled away from his band mate and stumbled once more. Mark slid his arm around Shane’s waist, pulling him closer. For a moment, Shane stared into Mark’s eyes.  
“Thanks… Again” Shane said.

Mark nodded his thanks to Jackson, scooped Shane’s phone up off the table then slowly stared to lead Shane towards the door.

*

Mark tightened his grip on Shane as the two singers made their way down the street. The air was cold and, in a bid to keep warm, Shane wrapped his arm around Mark’s neck. They walked in silence, the older boy stumbling from time to time. It wasn’t long before they reached Mark’s car.

“Shane?” Mark began as he released his friend. “What’s wrong with you?”  
“Nothing” Shane replied.  
“You can’t lie to me”  
“I’m not lying”  
“Shane, this isn’t like you… Drinking in a bar, alone, until they kick you out at closing time… I mean, Gillian?”  
Mark knew his last statement had somehow become a question but he still hoped Shane would give a legitimate answer.  
“She’s at home” Shane replied.  
“About to give birth any day now”  
“I didn’t leave her there alone! Her mother or Kian or someone is there with her”  
“So why aren’t you?”  
“That’s none of your business!”  
“I came out here in the middle of the fucking night… A fucking freezing night, to get you and now you’re telling me it has nothing to do with me?”

Mark stared at Shane in annoyance. The older boy couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen his friend so mad at him. For a moment, Shane didn’t speak. He opened his mouth but couldn’t form the words. Instead, the tears he’d spilled earlier returned and he turned his back on his friend.  
Mark’s demeanor changed the moment he saw Shane break. He stepped up to his band mate and wrapped his arms around him once more. Shane’s body shook with sobs and chills from the cold night air and he turned into Mark’s embrace.

“What ever is wrong, you can tell me” Mark insisted. “Please? You know you can trust me”  
“I’m just so scared” Shane cried.  
“Scared of what?”  
“Everything”  
Shane buried his face in Mark’s chest, much like he’d done back inside the bar. The younger boy wasn’t sure what to do. His friend was falling apart before his very eyes and he had no idea how to help him.

“Hey, it’s okay” Mark began. “Do you… Wanna talk about it?” Shane shook his head and tightened his hold on Mark. “Let’s just get in the car and I’ll take you home…”  
“No, please?” Shane whispered. “I can’t. Not like this, not right now”  
“Shane…”  
“Please, Mark?”

The older boy looked up, his eyes met with Mark’s and the younger boy’s heart ached once more. No matter how hard he tried, he knew he’d never be able to say no to Shane… Now that he thought about it, he’d never said no to Shane, ever.

“Okay” he sighed. “I’ll take you home” Shane stiffened. “Home to my place but you’ll have to call Gillian and tell her where you are” Shane nodded in understanding. “Then I’m going to make you a coffee and we’re going to talk and you’re going to tell me exactly what’s wrong, okay?”  
Shane nodded his head. “Yes, okay”  
“Okay”

Mark led Shane back towards the car and unlocked the doors. He opened the passenger door and helped his tipsy friend into the vehicle. The singer closed the door then hurried around to the driver’s seat. He climbed in and closed the door then turned to check on Shane. The older boy was still struggling with his seatbelt. Feeling bad for his friend, Mark leaned over and reached out to help him. His fingers brushed against Shane’s cold hands and he stopped, looking up and staring into the older boy’s eyes.  
The younger boy could feel Shane’s breathe on his skin and he felt his heart skip a beat. Shane could feel the heat radiating from Mark’s body and he raised his hand to gently stroke his cheek. As Shane’s finger touched his skin, Mark pulled away.

He kept his eyes averted, staring out the windscreen while trying to insert his keys in the ignition. Shane turned away, feeling as he’d just been slapped in the face. With trembling hands, he managed to do up his seatbelt. The tipsy singer then closed his eyes and leaned back in the seat, crossing his arms in front of his chest.  
Mark started the car, music filled the air and the heater warmed the interior. The younger boy dared to sneak a glance at Shane and he noted the older boy was napping. Sensing an impending headache, he reached up and gently rubbed the bridge of his nose. then blinked several times to clear his head.  
His mind immediately turned to his boyfriend, Kevin. He loved him so much. He’d never doubted his love for Kevin... So what was he doing right now? A part of him knew that if he hadn’t pulled away when he did, he would have kissed Shane.

As he gripped the steering wheel, he remembered the last time he’d kissed his band mate. Of course Shane had been more that just his band mate then. If someone had asked him, back then, what his future was going to be, his answer would have been simple. Shane.  
Before he’d met Kevin, he’d never imagined spending his life with anyone but Shane. Yet the older boy had had other plans. Seeing his ex in so much pain was breaking Mark’s heart but a part of him suddenly feared he wouldn’t be able to help his friend.

“Mark?” Shane began.  
He’d been trying to get the younger boy’s attention for several minutes.  
“Sorry?” Mark replied.  
“Thank you… For coming to get me”  
“You’re welcome”

Mark turned his attention back to the road and the two singers spent the rest of the drive in silence. It wasn’t long before Mark was pulling the car into the driveway. He turned off the ignition and slowly removed the keys. For the next few minutes, they both sat in silence. Neither one of them made a move to leave the vehicle.

Shane slowly turned towards Mark and carefully extended his hand. The younger boy immediately reached for the door handle and climbed out of the car. Shane quickly retracted his hand and sat back in the seat, hoping Mark hadn’t seen him. He unbuckled his seatbelt then turned and opened the door. Until that moment, Shane hadn’t realized how much he’d had to drink. It wasn’t until the ground became scarily closer that it dawned on him.

Mark had been walking around the car, heading towards the passenger side, when the door had opened and Shane stumbled out. One moment he was standing beside the car, the next he was by Shane’s side, his arms around the older boy, stopping him from slamming into the ground and injuring himself.  
Again, neither one of them moved as Mark’s arms held Shane in a protective embrace.

The older boy closed his eyes once more, willing the world to stop spinning, as he found himself clinging to Mark. He wasn’t sure how it had happened. One minute he was climbing out of the car and the next he was in Mark’s arms. He buried his face in the younger boy’s chest, as he’d done earlier, and he felt the tension grow in Mark’s body. He dared to open his eyes and look up at his friend.

“Mark…“ Shane began.  
“Let’s get you inside” Mark interrupted him.

The younger boy loosened his grip on Shane then began to lead him inside. Shane’s dizzy spell had passed and he was able to walk, without incident, to the front door. Mark unlocked it and the two of them went inside. The younger boy led his friend into the Living room and set him down on the couch. He reached into his pocket and retrieved Shane’s phone. He handed it to the older boy.

“Call your wife, let her know you’re okay” Mark said to Shane. “I’m sure she’s worried”  
“Mark-“  
“Wait here… I’ll make you some coffee”

Without another word, Mark turned and walked out of the room. He didn’t stop until he reached the Kitchen. He stopped and braced himself against the counter, releasing a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

“Pull yourself together” he scolded himself. “You’re a grown man… What you and he had is in the past. You’re with Kevin now. You love him, remember that!”

For the next few minutes, he busied himself boiling the kettle and preparing two cups of coffee. A part of him wished Kevin was there to help him handle this but his boyfriend had gone to visit his family for a few days. Mark wondered if being separated from Kevin was what was drawing him to Shane.  
He told himself no. That he was simply feeling sorry for the older boy, his former love, his friend.  
As he began to pour water into the mugs, he realized his hand was visibly shaking and he spilt boiling water over the counter.

“God, get with it, Mark!” he hissed.  
He picked up a cloth and wiped down the counter before resuming the task at hand. The brunette couldn’t remember that last time he’d had so much trouble preparing coffee. With a sigh of relief, he finished and picked up the two cups. When he returned to the Living room, he found Shane sitting on the couch. The older boy was leaning back, his head resting against the wall, eyes closed, hands lying lifeless on the cushions either side of his body.  
Mark froze in the doorway, taking in the sight of Shane and his heart skipped a beat. It had been years since he’d sat on edge of the coffee table while Shane sat on the couch and slowly jerked himself off. In that very moment, it felt like it had only been yesterday.

Mark closed his eyes then opened them, pushing aside the memory as he walked into the room and placed the two cups on the table. He then moved aside and sat down in the armchair. Shane’s mobile phone was on the table; Mark could see it was switched off again and, for a moment, he wondered if Shane had done as he’d asked.

“You called her?” Mark asked. He knew he didn’t need to say her name.  
“Yup” Shane replied.  
The older boy opened his eyes and sat up. He stretched and stifled a yawn.  
“I’d forgotten how comfortable this couch was” Shane stated.  
Mark forced himself not to meet Shane’s eye, scared the older boy would be able to see what he’d been thinking when he walked into the room.

“You feeling any better?” Mark asked.  
“The room’s not spinning so much anymore” Shane admitted.  
He moved forward then slid off the couch and onto the floor, settling himself in front of the coffee table. Mark shifted uncomfortably; guiltily remembering the way Shane would slide off the couch, kneel before him and look up at him with lust in his eyes.

“Shane” Mark began his voice slightly louder than he intended it. “What’s wrong with you?”  
“Nothing” Shane replied.  
“Shay, it’s not like you to be out drinking so late… On your own”  
Shane stared down at the coffee cup now cradled in his hands and shrugged.  
“Come on” Mark coaxed. “Please, talk to me”  
Shane slowly shook his head. “I can’t”  
“Why not?”  
“I… I just can’t”

Shane slumped forward, staring down at his trembling hands, as he blinked back tears. He tried to hold them back but it was too late. He managed to place the mug back on the table before his hands shook so bad he could no longer hold it. He buried his face in his hands and gave in to his own tears.

Mark remained in the chair, staring down at Shane with a pain in his own heart. He wanted to comfort his friend but was too afraid to move. For now he decided to allow Shane time to shed his tears and get whatever was upsetting him out of his system.

The younger boy picked up his mug of coffee and slowly sipped the warm liquid. He tried his best not to look at Shane, all the while feeling guilty for doing so. Mark became so lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t notice when Shane’s sobs began to subside.

Shane was aware that Mark was distancing himself from him but he wasn’t sure why. After several minutes he managed to calm himself down, wishing Mark had made some kind of effort to do so for him. Shane cast a glance at his coffee and knew he didn’t feel like drinking it.  
Moving ever so slowly, he slid across the floor, closer to Mark. The younger boy was gazing intently at his coffee that he didn’t see Shane approach. The older boy reached out and placed his hand on Mark’s knee. The sudden contact startled his friend and caused Mark to spill his coffee down the front of his shirt.

“Ahhh” he yelped. “Shane, what…?”  
Mark leapt to his feet and Shane hurried to stand up too.  
“I didn’t mean to…” Shane began. He took the mug from Mark and deposited it on the table before turning back to his band mate. Mark tried to step past Shane but the older boy remained in his path.  
“Shane…Move” Mark began. “I have to clean this up…”

The older boy stepped closer, in one swift movement he wrapped one arm around Mark’s waist; his other hand gripped the younger boy’s neck as he pressed his lips to Mark’s. For the briefest second, Mark found himself returning the kiss and he quickly pulled away.

“Shane… What?” Mark stammered.  
“I miss you” Shane whispered as he leaned forward for another kiss.  
“No!”

Mark placed both hands on Shane’s chest and pushed the older boy away. Shane stumbled back and fell to the floor. He stared up at Mark, tears forming in his eyes once more.  
“Mark, please?” Shane whispered.  
“Shane… What the hell is wrong with you?” Mark demanded.  
“I love you”  
“No” Mark shook his head. “Just… No!”

The younger boy turned and stormed out of the room, leaving Shane in a state of distress. He didn’t stop walking until he reached his bedroom and slammed the door closed behind him. For a moment, he considered locking it but a part of him knew Shane wasn’t going to follow him.

He leaned back against the closed door and buried his face in his hands, shaking his head in disbelief. He knew he shouldn’t have walked out like he had but he hadn’t known what else to do. He hated to admit that Shane’s behavior was starting to make sense. The older boy was upset and Mark was beginning to understand why. He was immediately reminded of his earlier thoughts, that he wouldn’t be able to help his friend.

Mark sighed to himself before pushing away from the door. He removed his shirt, pausing to examine the large coffee stain, and then tossed it on the floor. Mark located a clean shirt and hastily pulled it over his head. Now that he was changed, he was ready to go back out and talk to Shane… Or was he?

He walked over to the drawer and picked up a photo of himself with Kevin. He gently stroked his finger along the image of his boyfriend and he nervously chewed his lip. It hadn’t been his choice to end his relationship with Shane. No, their breakup had been entirely Shane’s doing. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t still feel something for the older boy. His earlier thoughts about Shane on his couch seeped back into his mind and he quickly pushed them aside.

Mark placed the photo back where it belonged then held his head high as he walked out of the room. He quietly made his way back to the Living room and stopped just shy of the door. From this position, he could see Shane. The older boy was still huddled on the floor, his face hidden in his hands, his body shaking from his sobs. With a deep breath and more courage than he knew he had, Mark re-entered the room.

“Shane?” he greeted him.  
Shane’s head snapped up in an instant. He looked up at Mark through tear filled eyes and lowered his hands.  
“I didn’t mean to…” Shane began.  
Mark held up his hand to silence Shane. He moved closer, slowly, then stopped and sank down to the floor. He set himself down opposite his sobbing friend.  
“What happened, Shane?” Mark asked; concern obvious in his voice. “Please, tell me the truth”

“It was all a mistake” Shane stated. “It never should have happened”  
“What?” Mark asked. “What was?”  
“She’s pregnant again, Mark”  
“Who… Gillian?” Mark asked; He sounded as confused as he felt. Shane nodded his head in response.  
“And… What? You hadn’t noticed?”  
“Of course I noticed…” Shane snapped.  
“Well, I don’t understand… Shane, what’s wrong with you?”

Shane blinked back his tears. He looked into Mark’s concerned eyes and saw the confusion he’d placed there. He reached out and took hold of the younger boy’s hand.  
“I’ve been thinking it for some time now… That I was wrong” Shane said. “I never should have left you”

Shane reached up, his hand almost touching Mark’s cheek. The younger boy immediately jerked away, snatching his hand from Shane’s grasp.

“No” Mark said. “Don’t you dare!”  
“Dare what?” Shane asked; sounding confused himself.  
“You made your decision, Shane. You chose her, not me”  
“I made the wrong choice… I can see that now”  
“It’s too late. You don’t get to take something like that back, Shane”  
“No! It…” Shane stammered. “It’s not too late. We can still be together”  
“Your wife is pregnant Shane… With your second child” Mark emphasized on the ‘second’ part, feeling the need to remind Shane. “You have a beautiful daughter at home and another baby on the way... You’re not just going to throw that all away”  
“But it’s not the same… I don’t love her… Not in the way I love you”

Mark stood up and backed away from Shane. The older boy also climbed to his feet. He maintained eye-contact with Mark.

“I never should have married her. I never should have left you” Shane insisted.  
“But you did” Mark replied. “And you hurt me, Shane. So much”  
“And I’m so sorry”  
Shane reached out to touch Mark but the younger boy slapped his hand away.  
“Mark, please?” Shane begged.  
“No” 

Mark hadn’t realized he’d started crying but tears were spilling down his own cheeks.  
“Marky, please don’t cry” Shane whispered.  
”Don’t call me that” Mark hissed. “Is that what this is all about? You hate where your life has taken you so you went out to drown your sorrows… And now you want a do-over?”  
“I want you back… Don’t you miss me? And everything that we had?”  
Mark swallowed hard.  
“You made your decision Shane. I couldn’t give you kids and she could. You said you couldn’t see a future with me but you could see one with Gillian”  
“Mark-“  
“You said you weren’t a fag” Mark cut Shane off. “That she meant more to you than I ever could. You broke my heart Shane”  
“And I’m here to make it better”  
“No, you’re here to make yourself feel better. I’m with Kevin now. I love him… More than I ever loved you”

Shane took a step back, as though he’d just been slapped in the face. Mark’s words stung him. They cut deep into his heart. He knew Mark was lying. The way he’d lied all those years ago. He’d told Mark what he needed to hear, not what he [Shane] had really felt.  
A part of him had never wanted to leave Mark but he wasn’t ready to admit to himself (or his family) that he was gay. Marrying Gillian, having children with her was the best thing for him to do, to make everyone in his family proud… Not ashamed… 

“You’re lying” Shane said.  
“No” Mark insisted. “I’m not”  
“You are! You love me, you always have… You still look at me the same way…”  
Shane grabbed Mark’s shoulder and, once again, forced his lips to Mark’s mouth. This time, the younger boy didn’t hesitate to push him away. He grabbed hold of Shane’s arms, pinning them to his sides and leaned in, their faces mere inches apart.

“I love Kevin” Mark insisted. All feelings of compassion had completely vanished. “He is everything to me and I’m going to spend the rest of my life with him. He loves me and would never throw me aside the way you did”  
Mark saw the way Shane’s eyes darkened as he spoke. “He appreciates me more than you ever did and when we fuck, he makes me come so hard I can’t even remember my own name. When his mouth is on my cock, it makes me feel so alive… And whenever I’m with him, it’s like we’re the only two people in the whole world”

Shane stared at Mark, his eyes stinging with fresh tears. He tried to tell himself that Mark was lying, was trying to hurt him the way he, himself, had hurt him so long ago. But he could see it in Mark’s eyes, as harsh as his words had been; there was a fire in his eyes that said he spoke the truth.  
The older boy’s body went limp in Mark’s grasp as Shane admitted his defeat. Mark loosened his grip on his friend and averted his eyes. He hadn’t meant to sound so harsh; he’d not wanted to hurt Shane… He just wanted Shane to understand where they stood with each other.

“I can’t go back to her” Shane admitted. “Not now, not after this”  
“That’s between you and her, Shane” Mark said.  
“But I love you”  
“And I love Kevin”  
“Mark?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Nothing”

Shane moved away, distancing himself from Mark. The younger boy watched him for a moment. The clock chimed and he realized just how late it was. Shane sank down on the couch, nervously chewing his fingernail. Mark quietly left the room then returned a few minutes later with a blanket and pillow. He walked over to the couch and gently wrapped the blanket around Shane’s shoulders. The older boy looked up at him with a look of utter defeat on his face and Mark couldn’t help but feel bad for putting it there.

Without thinking, Mark sat down beside Shane. He wrapped his arm around the older boy and pulled his upset friend to him. For the next few minutes, Shane quietly sobbed in Mark’s embrace.  
“I don’t know what I’m going to do” Shane whispered.  
“Yes, you do” Mark replied. “And you’re going to be okay”

Several more minutes passed before Mark realized Shane had cried himself to sleep. Being careful not to disturb him, Mark stood up and gently lay the sleeping singer down on the couch. He adjusted the blanket around him then turned the light off. As he made his way to his room, he couldn’t help but reflect on the nights’ events. He regretted the way he’d handled the whole situation but he knew nothing he could do now would change his actions.

He picked up his mobile phone and sat down on his bed. He pressed the call button and waited for the call to be answered.

“Hello?” Kevin’s sleepy voice reached Mark’s ear and caused him to smile.  
“Hey baby” Mark greeted him. “Sorry to call so late”  
“Late… Early… Either way it’s the middle of the night… What’s wrong? Did something happen to Saffy?”  
“No, Saffy’s fine… I just… I just needed to hear your voice”  
“You did?”  
“Yeah… And to tell you how much I love you”  
“I love you too… But what’s brought this on?”  
“Can’t a lad ring his boyfriend in the middle of the night to tell him he loves him?”  
“No” Kevin laughed.  
“Shane’s asleep on the couch… He got really drunk and… He told me he still loves me and that he wanted me back”  
“Oh Mark”  
“He kissed me, too… Twice actually”  
“Mark!”  
“I told him No… That I wasn’t interested because I love you…”  
For a moment, neither of them spoke.  
“Kevin, are you okay?” Mark asked.  
“The more important question is, are you?”  
“He just caught me off-guard is all”  
“In that case, honey, as much as I appreciate knowing you stayed faithful to me… Next time, can you not ring me at 3am to tell me?”  
“You think there’s going to be a next time?”  
“I’m just saying is all… I love you”  
“I love you too baby”  
“Good night”  
“Sleep tight”

Mark ended the call and put the phone down. He changed into his boxers and climbed into bed. He turned the light off; smiling to himself, relieved that Kevin had been so understanding. His phone beeped and he groped around in the dark for it. He located it and opened the text message.  
‘Now I can’t get back to sleep’ he read.  
‘Phone sex?’ he typed a quick replied.  
The phone beeped again as another message came through.  
‘Yes please’ he smiled.

As his fingers typed a response, he knew things were going to be okay for him and Kevin. But the situation with Shane wasn’t going to be easy to handle. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say to Shane the next morning but he wasn’t going to think about that right now. The image of Shane, on the floor, sobbing and professing his love for him was too much for him to worry about. He knew he couldn’t give Shane what he wanted but he promised himself he’d do everything he could to resolve the issue. He’d already lost Shane as his lover; he didn’t want to lose him as a friend too.

**Author's Note:**

> Original publication date (on my now defunct 'All Things Shnicky' site): 23rd September 2008


End file.
